Activity: Developmental Milestones

1. I have been privileged to be a part of raising mokopuna number 7 of 12 in my home. She turns 3 in March 2026 and stands just above my knees, it took approximately 26 months for her hair to grow currently wavy hoping it goes curly, brown eyes, her skin is starting to tan a bit now, stocky for a girl and a cute round face and button nose. She can sing the alphabet and do the sign language for it as well, she loves singing, playing, talking, colors, numbers, kai especially bananas and weetbix, water, juice, phone, laptop, gumboots, our kuri Kikorangi and Eko. She has recently started to help mow the lawns on the zero turn mower and LOVES it. Her favorite movie is Happy Feet and Ferdinand, she likes to watch Miss Rachel. She is caring, humorous and likes to share. She is protective of those she loves, is starting to display her understanding of emotions and is strong minded. Given she attend preschool her social skills have improved immensely this year. 

2. Making the time and effort to engage with my mokopuna has allowed her to develop life skills and communicate with whaanau. Being patient and explaining boundaries is where we are with her at present there are many positives to watching her grow. When tired and stressed it can change the dynamic therefore being aware and mindful is important. 

My eldest son who is 6 now surprised me and others around him on a couple of occasions. Typically babies don't roll until a certain age, however Asher decided at 6 weeks old to give it a go, and was very successful! So from 6 weeks old he was rolling. He was also walking at 10 months. Those were probably the most surprising and memorable developmental moments for me, as they were both quite unexpected as I thought it was "too early" 

I think a positive about being aware is knowing what to look out for, because if a child does have a delay in a certain area, it is important to get it checked to make sure there is no underlying issue, and I think its important to rule that out. 

1. Consider the early childhood development of someone in your family [your daughter, son, niece, nephew, younger sister/brother etc.]. What were the most memorable or surprising moments of his/her physical, cognitive, personality, or social-emotional development?  I was a nanny to a 2yr old boy from a middle/upper class family in England (I was his 3rd nanny!).  He was a regular part of myself & my partners daily lives which exposed him to play, stories, swimming, pets, manners, boundaries, cuddles. Over time he grew from a shy and cautious wee boy who lacked confidence and developmental skills into a loving, boisterous adventurer.   Some of his favourite things became  hammering "nails" into a pre-drilled board my partner made for him, reading stories to the cat, helping me bake, and using my hairdryer (so cute).

2. What do think are the positive aspects of parents or caregivers focusing on early developmental milestones? What are the negatives?  Having milestones gives a parameters around developmental progress and can highlight areas that need additional assistance or external intervention.  It can be easy to become fixated on milestones and forget that each child is unique and develops on their own schedule, and to make comparisons with other children and in turn put unnecessary pressure on ourselves and/or the child removing enjoyment from their growth.

Some things I have found interesting watching my daughter (3.5 years) develop: she has always been very strong (lifting/holding her head up from 3 weeks old etc), but as a toddler, she has been more on the cautious side than the confident side with gross motor skills and physical activity. Her skills have been more within the language domain. I remember her learning to laugh, to walk, to talk, to run, to jump. She has also loved numbers and counting and learned to count to ten from a very young age.

Since she was 2 she has been obsessed with babies and wanted to have her doll/teddy on her in a front pack which I make out of a baby blanket. She imitates all the things I have done with her as a baby, including bouncing her baby in the front pack to get her to sleep, very cute.

I noticed a shift in her from playing alongside others to playing with them.

We never really experienced the terrible twos that people talk about. I thought I must have such a gentle chill daughter, and I got off lucky, but then 3 years came, and like a switch, we started having lots of really big emotions and big meltdowns. I have friends who have also had the same experience with their daughters from 3.

I have had awareness of milestones but never beet too focused on them as I know each baby goes through their individual journey of growth and development and some will show certain strengths and interests and others will have different ones. I think they can be exciting things to celebrate and they can inform us iff our child may need extra support. They can also be the cause of a lot of stress for parents, and I think this would translate as stress and pressure for the children. My brother has a son 4 months younger than my daughter and he has always compared them so hard on everything and felt so stressed if his boy was behind in any way. It was so stressful fo him.

I was working one day a week so my daughter stayed with my sister and brother at home. I got a very excited phone call from my brother to say the Jessie had taken her first steps, she was only 9 months old so he was very proud that she had walked to him. My son was over a year old when he got his first tooth where my daughter had four by the time she was three months old. I loved seeing them grow up and never really stressed. about their milestones I was just happy they were happy and healthy. My daughter was above the 97  percentile for measurement so people often expected more from her because they assumed she was older than she was. I learnt to focus on my kids as individuals and not a statistics. As long as they were happy and healthy I was less worried about their milestones 

Unfortunately I have not had the opportunity to witness the development of a child as we have no cousins, nieces/nephews, and the age gap between myself and my younger sister is too close for me to have witnessed anything and impart to memory. The only time I can draw on this is my twin second cousins in Korea, who are now 5 years old, and the first time I met them was April of this year. I heard anecdotes from my mother who lived in Korea at the time when they were between 2-3 years old and their personality development is astounding. They were both so shy and reserved with little distinctive personality, especially being twins they were always mistaken for one another and treated the same. When I met them I could very easily see their different personalities - one was inquisitive and outgoing, the other reserved but kind. They both easily understood emotions within themselves and others a lot more.

I think positive aspects of early development stages would be seeing the fine motor skills develop in such a short time span. When they become able to identify emotions in themselves and others that would be quite an encouraging experience. The negative can be that if a child is developing slower than the average, there may be increased pressure on them and stress on the parent.

Having number two child was interesting, as at first I was expecting him to follow a similar milestone timeline to his older brother. However, it was and still is interesting to observe, how so very different they are.  One was a talker, found a love of books quite early and is risk adverse, where number two was slower to talk and still not interested in books, but he began walking early, climb everything and will try any outdoor activity presented.   

I think that being aware of developmental milestones is a huge positive, as when they are achieved, it is a moment of celebration, and indeed if they are not met within a certain window of time, then it will be on the parents radar and they can seek support.  The negative to focusing on these milestone would be that it could add stress to the parents if their child isn't reaching them as expected and in some instances can become a competitive point between parent withing certain groups.  

1. Consider the early childhood development of someone in your family. What were the most memorable or surprising moments of his/her physical, cognitive, personality, or social-emotional development?

I remember when my son was in preschool age and told me not to clean his bottom after toileting. At first, I insisted on helping him, but I soon realized he really wanted to do it by himself. From then on, I let him manage it. I believe that during that time, he was developing greater 'body awareness' and 'desire to be independent' in that personal hygiene area.

2. What do you think are the positive aspects of parents or caregivers focusing on early developmental milestones? What are the negatives?

I think developmental milestones can give helpful general guidance for parents and caregivers. However, focusing too much on them can sometimes make people overlook a child’s unique pace of growth and development.

My son who wouldve been 2/3 years old at the time, reenacting a rugby game and running in slow motion and then speeding up once he gets the ball and then going for a try. I remember being the most cutest thing ever.

positives on early development milestones - you can celebrate them and know that theyre on the right track

negatives on early development milestones - you can worry and fuss over the fact that your child is not developing the way that every other child is. You start to worry and feel like you havent let this child down because the other two turned out right? if that makes sense

Thinking about my granddaughter, I remember watching her as a baby (perhaps 2months old from memory?), lying on the floor, discovering all the sounds she could make with her voice, as if talking to me.  We had a lovely conversation as I talked back and she responded.  

The positives of watching for milestones are that you know what to expect and can pick up on potential issues early if they arise.  It's also exciting to watch the milestones and gives you hope if it's a difficult stage, that it is just a stage!

The negatives are comparison, which takes away from your child's uniqueness, potentially seeing them as behind and missing their gifts.  It could also cause the need to pressure a child to perform or cause unnecessary anxiety.

1. I watched my niece and nephew growing up and it was interesting to watch my nephew being so 'in his head'.. a real thinker but very clumsy in his body and when outdoors. My niece was the total opposit, very 'in her body' confident and able when climbing and exploring. But her cognitiv ability was definetly slower in the beginning. The detailed drawings and clear seperation of the 2 langauges she leanred were more muddled up compared to my nephew.

2. Negative ones is a state of panic when not every milestone happpend when it should happen - its all very indivitual and within different personality and interests. A positive one would be reassuring and early intervention if needed. 

1. Consider the early childhood development of someone in your family [your daughter, son, niece, nephew, younger sister/brother etc.]. What were the most memorable or surprising moments of his/her physical, cognitive, personality, or social-emotional development?

My daughter seemed to start making her own music as soon within weeks, her self soothe cooing was always melodic sounding. She moved through humming and onto singing along with tunes before she knew how to say words and never stopped, she is rarely not singing now as a twelve year old. Our daughter was always noted by her kindy teachers as being kind and a helping other children if they hurt themselves or were crying. It was a surprise when she decided she would focus on her own needs for a while and started refusing to share with other kids...she found a balance again soon after but it was interesting to watch her go through different stages.

2. What do think are the positive aspects of parents or caregivers focusing on early developmental milestones? What are the negatives?

Being aware of milestones can help parents seek support if needed however sharing too much with other parents of similar aged children could lead to unneccessary concerns.

1. So many fascinating memories of my children's personalities emerging. Just one...my son didn't speak any particular language for quite a while, he made up his own. We could still perfectly communicate, he was very active, outgoing and engaging. I should have made a dictionary. He was exposed to multiple languages as we travelled with him, plus I spoke a mix of German and English.      

2. Having a general awareness of age appropriate milestones is helpful to identify a potential problem early and put support in place before an issue effects overall development. 

An over-focus on milestones would be like entering your child into a race. It creates stress and anxiety that the child will absorb, and sometimes a pushiness, that is unfair to the child.

I remember my youngest sons first word was dad becaue he spent alot of time with me early on. I never did the baby talk thing and it helped him pick up clear language quickly.

Focusing on milestones helps parents see if their kids on track. The downside to this is creating pressure if those milestones arent met, or comparing their development with others instead of enjoying their own progress.

one of the most memorable moment with my daughter Claire was when she was at kindy the kids had to write their name each morning. she just drew a squiggle but what was amazing is it was the first time I realised she was left handed. Now that she is now 12 she is incredible crafty and arty 

The positive aspects of parents focusing on early development milestones are reading to your children, playing with them. Setting up fun painting activities with them. This builds their confidence and your relationship with them.

The negatives are when you start to compare your child to others and you start to worry your child isnt reaching their milestones. Each child is different and will get their eventually. I had this with my oldest daughter and then I had her assessed and she was diagnosed with Autism at 4 years old 

I have 2 daughters aged 11yrs and 8 yrs old.  The most memorable moments of their development in early childhood were milestones where when they learnt to walk, feed themselves, dress themselves, communicate in sentences, wipe their own bums, play independently.  I really loved and cherished these moments as I was struggling a lot with depression and it really helped me to get through and still love them at the same time.

Positives of focusing on early developmental milestones are that if something is going wrong with the child's development, then you will be aware of it and can get help if you feel worried.  Negatives of focusing on these milestones is that you may feel pressure, anxiety, disappointment if your child is not developing in time to the milestones and these feelings can transfer onto the child so the child feels like they are a disappointment, they feel anxious, they feel performance stress.

I have two boys, what I noticed with my youngest was that he picked up lots of things faster than his older brother did, because he had his older brother to learn from. Things like playing with toys, cars, balls, duplo, he also was more confident in his social interactions as he observed his brothers behavour.

Postive aspects are the parents can give that postive response to the child, praise, boosting confidence. Negative is comparing their childrens stages to others, feeling like the child isn't getting there fast enough.

My kids all learnt to walk very young, about 6 and 7 months which surprised me. I also noticed that my youngest and only daughter picked up language and counting a lot faster than her brothers, but she would have also had a lot more interaction with more people with her older brothers around. 

So parents and caregivers can focus on positive interactions and developing the children's language, physical and emotional skills. 

Negatives, it can put a lot of pressure/ shame on some people if their kids are seen as "delayed". In saying that there is also the awareness around it incase there needs to be any specialists involved 

When considering the early childhood development of my daughter and son, I was most surprised at the differences between the two. 

All of the developmental differences between girls and boys that I was told to expect from family and friends ended out being quite the opposite. 

My daughter was far messier, louder, took more risks when playing and was far less shy compared to my son at the same age.

I think it can be important to be aware of some developmental milestones of young children so that if something needs to be addressed, it can be done early and potentially before issues compound. 

It is equally important to be aware of over-analysing and comparing young children when milestones aren't being hit "on time", this is very apparent in first time parents (speaking from experience here!)

Amelia Rogers

Consider the early childhood development of someone in your family [your daughter, son, niece, nephew, younger sister/brother etc.]. What were the most memorable or surprising moments of his/her physical, cognitive, personality, or social-emotional development?

Right now I have a 7 month old. I said just yesterday to my husband the changes from 7 weeks old to 7 months old is astounding. He is developing and changing so rapidly at this age! He is now sitting up on his own, and has started eating solid food, and has begun to wave at people. I can see that waving takes A LOT of concentration - the cognitive connection from his brain to his hand takes time, and when it clicks he then waves , its so cute. Also easily distracted so the connection is lost again.

2. What do think are the positive aspects of parents or caregivers focusing on early developmental milestones? What are the negatives?

positives are that we notice our children doing things they are meant to do, making milestones so you know they are developmentally doing what is expected is a relief for parents. However I have 4 children and my friends all have children, and they all do things at their own pace. A negative thing can be comparing children to others, if one hasn't walked at 1 year old, you begin to worry because other children are walking, but that child may walk when they are 15 months old and are absolutely fine and healthy. 

The only child I have watched growing up has been my ex-step-daughter. The jump from just turned 4 to 5 was crazy! Something I remember is her at 4, pointing to a sign with a dog on it and saying 'dog'. Then, about a year and a bit later, picking her up from her mum's, and she's reading out a road sign. I was blown away by how quickly she went from a little girl to reading signs!!!!! 

I think the positives are that if there is anything developmentally wrong, then it will be picked up faster, hopefully. The negatives are putting pressure on your child to make milestones that they may not be ready to. 

One of the most memorable aspects of my child’s development was often the surprising moments when she suddenly mastered new skills, such as taking their first steps, asking endless “why” questions, or showing empathy by comforting a friend. These milestones highlight not only physical and cognitive growth but also emerging personality traits and social-emotional awareness, which give caregivers a glimpse of the child’s unique individuality. When parents and caregivers pay close attention to developmental milestones, it can be very positive as it allows them to celebrate progress, notice potential delays early, and actively support learning through play and interaction. However, it can also have negatives, such as creating pressure to compare children or focusing too much on achievements rather than enjoying each child’s natural pace of growth. 

I found it interesting watching the video about language development in the first 5 years of life. We didn’t do ‘baby talk’ with our daughter and also trued to discourage others doing it too. We always talked lots to her like she could understand what we were saying. We kept the content age appropriate. I liked to explain everything that was going on. She learned to speak really early and had lots of words and sentences a lot earlier than normal. I have always read her lots and lots of books too. She has a really good vocabulary at 8 years old and enjoys reading. 

I watched my son's early years develop with excitement and surprises. The first time he rolled over independently remains a moment that continues to bring a smile to my face. Even in his infant form, he exuded pride. Every little move felt significant after that his first time sitting up by himself, crawling, and eventually standing up while clutching the couch. 

my eldest daughter threw the rule book out the window at birth, pretty sure it was on the way home from hospital. She gained all her milestones early, often way before her peers. She could hold an intelligent conversation by the time she was 2. I couldn't buy her clothes for her, she had to come and pick them out. She could change a DVD (showing my age here) by herself. She could sit and turn pages in a book at 9 months and know if it was upside down. When my second came along I thought he was slow and behind in development because he wasn't matching what his sister had done. Plunket kindly informed me that he was the normal one and my daughter was not. As a first-time mum I had nothing much else to go by. 

I think we sometimes focus too closely on the timeline of developmental milestones and inadvertently put pressure on ourselves and our children to "perform". It is important to check in from time to time though in case something isn't quite right, and help can be sourced if needed. 

The interesting early childhood development with that my son was that he followed the rule books and sat at 6 months, crawled at 9 months and walked at 2 days before his first birthday.  He is now 23 years old and still follows the rules!

I think it is good to have a guideline of how your child should be developing and comparing to others. This will help if there is a problem with your child's development. The negative is that all children are different and some children taking longer to develop certain skills.

1. My daughter was one of those babies that developed motor skills very early on. It was surprising to see her crawling by pulling herself forward at 6 months old.

2. I think focusing too much on development can cause a lot of stress and anxiety which can lead to post-partum depression. One thing I struggled with was focusing on sleep patterns in relation to developmental stage and constantly comparing her to other babies which causes a lot of stress. I think without proper support and community it is normal for this to happen. There are a lot of positives around reaching those milestones if done without those extra stresses. Your child will have more independence and can interact and learn when they are crawling, reaching, walking at the age they should be. 

1.   I remember coming coming home during lunch breaks and after work to be surprised and delighted by the multi Syllable dinosaur names that my son had taken a special interest in!

2.  In an age where people are disconnected from community and communaI knowledge, having a rough guide line to follow can be helpful for isolated new parents. That knowledge however lacks context. Without context those milestones can cause more harm than good as anxiety, fear of failure and a free market can exploit people at a vunerable time.

1- As I will mention I have never been one to focus on milestones, if i think about it I have let Barnie decide when she is ready to attack these milestones, there was never any pressure when it came to sleeping in her own bed or toileting ect, I do remember her first walk as my brother was living with me at the time, and he was home, and I got this one camera, it was just after her 1st birthday :). 

2- As a mother to my daughter I have never found myself caught up in the "Milestone chat",  I did not go to mums groups or anything like that out of choice, so I was able to mostly avoid that kind if interaction. I have friends who do become wrapped up in developmental milestones and I do like to use my nursing background to reassure them as i believe raising a child has its own challenges without added pressures. On the other hand it is important to notice if a child is falling behind enough that it is having a effect on further development. 

1. Consider the early childhood development of someone in your family [your daughter, son, niece, nephew, younger sister/brother etc.]. What were the most memorable or surprising moments of his/her physical, cognitive, personality, or social-emotional development?

One of my younger cousins started walking about 2 months early which was really crazy and random because she looked too young to be walking

2. What do think are the positive aspects of parents or caregivers focusing on early developmental milestones? What are the negatives?

Positive aspects are that there is a rubric which parents can roughly use to check that everything is ok eg some deaf children only get tested when they're late for language bc they aren't responding. the negative side occurs when parents compare a little to rigorously and start to worry and be anxious when children dont hit the marks perfectly

Watching my two nieces grow up. They have both been raised essentially the same way however the oldest seemed to have an aptitude for creative things. He fine motor skills with things like drawing and using scissors came around pretty early in her life.
Whereas her sister has less of an interest in that and more of an interest in physical play and dance. So her gross motor skills are likely more developed and her energy levels are much higher than when her sister was the same age.

I think being aware of development milestones are great to help ensure that your child in on track developmentally, however the down sides would be when they see the milestones as a plan or rule set rather than a guideline. Comparison is the thief of joy and all children are different.

1. As a 1st time parent, I found myself more concerned and focused on reaching milestones. My daughter was still not walking at 18mths. Once I took away her walker... she was walking within 2wks. The joy and determination on her face was priceless. The joy on my face quickly left after a month because she was EVERYWHERE. Her motor skills kicked up. I noticed her personality changed from being a little clingy to self reliant.

2. Absolutely the best time to focus if possible. As we know, their brains are all fired up and ready to learn. The more we can expose them to new and exciting things like languages, play & experiences, the more they will adapt, retain & explore. They will be leaning towards the secure attachment theory. Opposed to struggling with a lack of words or motor skills for example, later when they attend preschool and school. All kids are different and learn at different speeds & levels. 1 might excel at languages and fine motor skills of writing and another may excel in gross motor skills and social interaction. That is the fun part of watching these individuals grow.